Art should evoke feelings within...

This woman's eyes intrigue me.
The pleasing highlights of the curls in her hair as they fall over her shoulders.

At times, it is the colors and textures of a painting which attract.
Then, as you revisit the work, one notices more familiar aspects.

And, of course, Monet evokes feelings of softness and calm.
Restful colors and themes in blue cause one to wonder who he really was as an artist.

Venice is more than a city of water.
Vivaldi lived there, the Carnival lives on.
The attraction of lovers remains despite the years of tourism.
I believe it is the light as well as the water which mesmerizes lovers.

At home in Canberra

We arrived on 11th of June in 2008, a Wednesday.

Excited to be in Australia's capital, Canberra; we entered our host home.
From the moment we arrived, as we explored the rooms, we had a sense of calming peace.
As we experienced this home in a practical way daily; our awareness of who our hosts are became more evident. These are some images of the space we will call "home" until our hosts return from their traveling time away.

I am feeling as though I am beginning to know the woman of this home; and find we share similar tastes in music, art, movies, theatre, and spiritual disciplines. Meeting her for the first time face to face will be an event I look forward to greatly.

Of special interest, is the private garden which greets us each morning. A lovely wall of camelias frame the space. Large terra cotta pots with kumquat and lemon trees frame the windows. I can't express the gift I receive each morning when I open the curtains to allow the early morning sunlight into the open living space which make up the kitchen dining and living room.

One of my host's library has proven to be one of great interest. THere is a fabulous book titled "Monet's cookery notebook" and I have been feasting on the pages filles with a glimpse into his life and family. Monet was meticulous when it came to eating lunch precisely at 11:30 a.m. each day. He did this to enable himself to paint in the afternoon light. Both he and his daughter painted regularly. Along with this information, are actual recipes Monet selected for his table. His second wife prepared them for Monet. Her hand written recipes were recreated by others in connection with the book. Photos of Monet's home in Giverny, the gardens, the rooms, the water, his boats, the waterliles, the bridge from his paintings... all is included. So what else could I do? I ordered a copy of the book for my own library.

Waimea Coastline of Kauai

For someone who was stuck in bed emotionally one year ago, I am so amazed by the distance I have come to know. We will be traveling for two months. This place was top of the list.The Hawaiian island of Kauai. It is our first choice for its natural beauty. These are images of the point of first settlement. I imagine it was also a place where a volcano poured magma into the sea.The beauty, sounds, nectars of this place overwhelm the senses.There is a drive inland filled with twists and turns. Because it follows the natural contours of the land.
The Waimea Road will begin on the coast, meander into the hills and come out further south.
It took us most of the day, but so worth the time.
You will see the "Grand Canyon of the Pacific", as well as unspoiled nature. Enjoy!

Coach Trail Villas, Waiwera, New Zealand

Waiwera is located less than an hour's drive from Auckland.
It is a tiny village with an excellent location on "the Hibiscus Coast" north of Auckland.
Of particular interest are the geo-thermal waters located beneath Waiwera.
This Inn has a literally hot tub tapped into the warm mineral waters below.
The pool here is also warm mineral waters.
We took shelter here when my knee replacements had reached their limit, and were screaming for rest. I am resting here, while Clair seeks out and discovers more of the natural wonders here. It is as active geothermically as Yellowstone Park.
These few images are of the area. Notice the waters and steep ridge across the cove waters.
Watching the tidal waters come and go is restful as well. I am told the shellfish here are yummy. Woody's is the one and only restaurant in the village. After sampling some of its fare, I can recommend a casual evening there worth while. Try the chowder too!
Well, that is all for now. No matter where you are, get out and explore more of the area.
Meeting new people is healthy, especially when you are in a friendly mood.
Bye for now,
Carole Anne

The importance of a decision

Every moment of my life, is a decision.
This must be true, because I am here.
I am here, because I chose to get out of bed this morning.
I put on clothes, walk to the next place I decide to be,
and begin doing my next thing.

I mean, break it down...
Are there times when I chose NOT to get out of bed?
of course there is.
In fact, pretending it is NOT a choice, doesn't diminish the truth.

I know now, that I am capable of feeling so heavy inside,
it is possible to NOT choose to get out of bed for weeks.
It is in that choice I learned something about myself.
I can, without even trying hard, get myself "stuck" in a place with very few exits.
No exit signs over the door, well, maybe i can't see them, because I'm in the dark.
Why am I in the dark? Is it because there is no light?
Or is it because my eyes are closed too tightly?

There came a time when I knew I couldn't spend the rest of my life in bed,
not functioning, despairing, almost.... without hope... not wanting to feel.
Skipping life, as easily as skipping class in school. Just don't show up.
Just don't engage. instead, choose to feel the pain.... that's it,
I'll give myself permission to feel the emotional pain I'm experiencing.
Then what? How long do I choose to live in this dark limbo?
Weeks later... I decided, I could get out of bed,
and respond to the help offered so lovingly from my husband, and friends.
I began then to chose to leave what numbed me.
Wasted hours and days and weeks of life, I just never showed up for life.

I broke it down.... slip my legs over the edge of the mattress, touch floor with feet,
take a step, repeat steps to the next place I want to be. Repeat....until I cared about myself and someone else enough, to take the baby steps up and out of the dark places I hid in.
Those little steps led to larger steps, then , skips and sometimes even strides in the journey.
I'm walking again, sometimes slow, and sometimes skipping along, enjoying the motion.
I took myself to places of help, where someone could listen, ask important questions I did not chose to ask myself. And show me the exit signs. My choice was to walk toward them,
grasp the door handle (or on occasion push) to get through the pain, and back into life.

I'm breathing again. (the circumstances which put me into bed, remain unchanged)
The only thing I've learned from this experience is: I needed to stop putting on a brave face, for others who asked about my sadness. I needed to grieve the unilateral loss of a relationship with my daughter. And after letting myself feel that pain, I found that I didn't want to live there anymore. So I chose.... Life is a choice.




Do I own my decisions? not always...